Monday, December 31, 2007

ADVICE & ANSWERS: Christian Separation? Porn, Anger, Unbelief in Marriage

Wow, ladies, this is a difficult question brought to you from a woman in a very tough situation. Read her words carefully and, if you feel led, offer your wise counsel and biblical advice. She sounds desperate and needs truth, grace, and encouragement, as well as insight into how to handle these things biblically.

Jess,
I am writing for desperately needed advice. I just told my husband that I am filing for a legal separation. I am a Christian and I know what the bible speaks concerning divorce, so I can't make that choice at this time. I am really in need of objective advice from others. I've been married for 4 years. During those years I've isolated myself from close relationships because I've become depressed and do not want others to see the real issues in our home. I am seeking separation because I recently heard my husband, while out with co-workers, say he was looking for someone to sleep with! He was also making many comments about the bodies of the females who were around. I heard this because I called him on his cell and he did not really turn it off when he thought he did, so I heard his conversation until I finally hung up. He has also been watching porn and hanging with friends who see nothing wrong with it. I have also found an email that he sent to a co-worker asking her to start a relationship. He also set up a myspace page listing that he was single and got lots of private emails from females sending innappropriate pictures. He constantly goes to bars with friends and comes home in the wee hours of the morning. His money habits have gotten us both into debt with extremely low credit scores. He also says he's no longer attracted to me because I've gained weight (I went from a size 10 to a 14 and I am in the process of losing the extra pounds).

And the worst thing is he, about 6 months ago, announced he no longer believes that Jesus ever existed and that most of the bible is a lie. He is also rude, curses in front of me and our 2 year-old, smokes and drinks in the basement, has an anger problem where he curses me out loudly, and he's pushed me and/or threw things at me about 5 times. We've tried counseling - no change. I've also talked to my pastor, but he has never spoken to my husband about his behavior, so I feel hopeless about getting help from my "spiritual leader." And my in-laws act afraid to confront my husband even though they know about and say they hate what's going on. I hate to break up my family, but I can no longer stay in this type of marriage. I've only stayed this long because of my love for Jesus and my son. Please help!

OK, Making Home readers, what do you have to say to this woman?

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