Saturday, June 30, 2007

Intimate Deprivation

"The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come back together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
~1 Corinthians 7:3-5~


As Beth Moore said today, when releasing her thoughts about the results from a survey of married Christian men,
"Now, let's just go ahead and get it over with. You knew to expect it. They want more intimacy. ... And don't act like they're making you do it either. God agrees with them on this one. He's the very one who inspired the Apostle Paul to tell us not to withhold ourselves from one another except for brief seasons of prayer. (Apparently, some of you have been in prayer a LONG TIME.) [Admin. note: Yes, I bolded that comment- it just cracks me up-- some women consistently withhold intimacy for long periods of time, and it's just not biblical- but Beth says it in such a disarming way-- I love that!]

My beloved Sisters, take it from a woman who's been married a long time and seen a whole lot of marriages go down the drain. PHYSICAL INTIMACY IS PROFOUNDLY IMPORTANT TO A DECENT MARRIAGE. ... You can say "no" or act miserable and disinterested so many times that you teach your man not to want you. But you can't teach him not to want. My man is going to want. That's the way he's wired. SO, I want him to want ME. Want yours to want you, too."

I've written about this before... we ought not deprive our husbands of physical intimacy and delight! I don't know how else to say it. I am the only godly outlet for intimacy that my husband has- and if you are married, you are the only godly outlet for that area of your husband's life. We need to be not only willing- but excited- to meet this desire in our husbands!

I would be furious if my husband wanted to go long stretches of time without even talking to me, without being willing to hear my heart or know my thoughts. I would feel so hurt and saddened-- because communication is one of the important ways that we as women connect. And I know many of you may be there, married to a husband who does not communicate and connect with you in this important way, and that certainly is worth addressing with your husband, and perhaps a counselor.

But God knew this physical intimacy thing would be an issue for many married couples; He wrote it into His Word. Physical intimacy can be for our husbands, like communication is for us, one of the most important ways that we connect as couples. We need to hear, receive, and act on this theme from the Word- "the wife does not have authority over her own body" - "do not deprive". Just something to think about (and act on!).

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