Monday, December 17, 2007

Having a Daughter is Changing Me...

Ya know, you'd think I would have expected it. I've watched as over the last five years, my husband has grown in huge, gargantuan ways... becoming such a student of the Word, growing into a loving father, and continuing to amaze me as a devoted and tender husband. Having sons has given him even more motivation to be a godly, honorable man... a man worthy of imitation. But even having watched him grow, I didn't really know all of the ways that having a daughter would change me.

I'd been considering writing about this for a while, but just hadn't sat down to write... and then I came across a friend's blog post talking about the same thing. I think there are some things that just come alive in you and become much more motivating when you realize that you- YOU!- (the real you-- the one you know when no one else is around... the one who sits on the computer longer than she should... the one who takes the best cookie for herself... the one who criticizes the people around her... THAT you)... when you realize that YOU are the primary guide for this little person to know what a woman is like.

What is a woman?
The way you answer that question ("what is a woman?") will affect what changes are made in this transition. For some Christian women, it will mean intentionally striving to be more feminine... for others, it will mean growing as a woman of God- studying the Word, becoming like the Titus 2 older woman... for some, it will mean changing the way they interact with their husband or friends, and for others, it will mean other things.

But for me at least, it has changed me in multiple ways. I want to be what I will encourage her to be. As she watches me, I want her to see the possibilities of what God can do in her life. Of course, I don't have to be "perfect" (and frankly, it'd be absurd for me to try), but I don't want to settle for mediocrity and teach her that it's OK to just "get by" as a woman... to just be a minimal Christian... to just "grin and bear" domestic tasks... to feel perpetually annoyed with children... etc. Let me never be these things! Though I don't have to be perfect, I want her to see me striving for Christlikeness, striving for femininity and integrity, striving to be a suitable helper for my husband, striving to be a thoughtful and loving mother, striving to be a faithful friend to the people God puts in my life, and striving to do the things God gives me to do with a cheerful obedient heart and countenance.

I may not attain it all, but by God's grace, I hope to become a woman of noble character-- and Maranatha has been a true gift in my life by which God is refining and shaping me in a way that no other gift yet has done. If she is going to be the woman I pray God will make her to be, I must be responsive to God's leading in my life, and gracious and loving towards those in my home. As her primary example of being a woman, I feel such responsibility. It's a big task, but thankfully, He's a big God, and He takes great delight in changing us in big ways.

How have your kids changed you? Do you, too, find yourself striving to be more Christlike, and praying for more of an attitude of cheerful obedience because of the little eyes that are watching you and learning?


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