Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Ready to Roll

Well, I'm back. You may have noticed that blogger had some problems this last week, rendering my blog inaccessible. Which was OK. It's funny; I had some posts pre-scheduled to start posting a couple days ago... but apparently, I needed a LITTLE more time, so blogger made me unable to do anything, blogwise. :) So we'll reengage in a day or two.

Speaking transparently, this summer has been simultaneously one of the neatest and one of the most difficult seasons of life I've ever walked through.

My children absolutely crack me up and make life deliciously fun. Just this morning, Ethan showed me a Lego "couch" he had crafted, and then he lifted it up and showed me the bottom, "where the dust goes". :) That's one of the sheer delights of having kids... their creativity and good humor lightens the load of adult life. And Silas started crawling... at four and a half months. Nuts! Watching the development of personality, creativity, humor, relationships, spiritual and even physical growth of our children has been a great joy for me.

I'll share some of the difficulties... honestly, there's been nothing earth-shattering. I just have gone through a season of struggling for longer and deeper than ever before. Perhaps some of it is the continuation of culture shock (for those of you who don't know, we live overseas). Perhaps some of it is missing my family, my parents in particular. I've had some of you write and suggest that perhaps I'm going through something postpartum, but I honestly don't think so. Perhaps some of it is the fact that I was spending time reading, researching, and thinking through deep things but not "processing" through them here, in writing. I think writing is very therapeutic and necessary for me. So, ironically, I think the blog "sabbatical" contributed to a difficult summer even though it has allowed me to do more running around with and enjoying of moments with my kiddos. Anyway, I'm sharing in a rambling sort-of way, but I just wanted you to know, transparently, that I'm coming out of a difficult season.

My sweet husband urged me to snag some tickets back home, so I'll be visiting my parents for a few weeks in September (woohoo!)... and (confession?) I've been writing for the past couple of weeks... so these things have helped. But, quite honestly, I'm still in a funk. I am clinging to the scripture that none can snatch me out of God's hands. I am listening to God's wonders of the Exodus. I am reading and listening to sermons about Job. I am so very thankful for my husband's steady, warm, understanding love... he is such a selfless, humble man, and I can't express my gratitude for him in my life. I am trying to fix my eyes on Jesus and look with faith towards heaven instead of getting wrapped up in the disappointments and struggles of earth.

Like I said, there hasn't been any "big" event that has caused this struggle... I am just in a difficult spot, personally. I have a lot on my mind, though, and so with that, let's re-enter the conversation we left off a couple of months ago... about home... about parenting... about marriage... about life. I look forward to reengaging with you all about the issues that are close to my heart.

p.s. By the way, now that we've "lived with" this new blog theme for a while (the blue background), what do you think of it? Is it a bit much? It reminds me of a palace harem I visited here, but tell me what you think-- is it hard to read/look at?


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