Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Everyone Leaves Some Things Undone

No matter how perfect the magazine photos, or how classic the stories, or how beautiful the decor, no one has it all together and does *everything*. We need not feel intimidated by the actions or homes of others, particularly during this Christmas season.

If you go to a Christmas party and the house is decorated perfectly, perhaps they're not taking time to make homemade Christmas goodies. Or maybe she has grown children. Maybe their master bedroom is a mess. Maybe she has a natural flair for that and it doesn't take near the effort it would for you or I. It could be that their family is using disposable everything-- dishes, napkins, diapers, and more-- during this season.

What I'm saying is this: don't heap on guilt because you don't have whatever someone else has or aren't doing what someone else does. We don't always see the whole picture.

If their kids are geting all the most expensive and "must-have" things for Christmas, it could be that they scrimped and saved all year. Or maybe they got a windfall bonus and decided to have a big Christmas this year. It could be that their grandparents are wealthy and give extravagantly (sometimes even despite the wishes of the parents). Or perhaps they're in mounds in debt.

Whatever the case, and whatever the reasons for their situation, someone else's life doesn't have to speak judgment into your life and your actions/inaction.

Everyone leaves some things undone. For our family, some of our "must-do"s are: time together as a couple, homeschooling, nursing, having friends over, and spiritual input into the hearts and lives of our children. And right now, I'm also making baby food and preparing for a lengthy visit from my parents in just 10 days (YAY!). So here are some of the things we're leaving "undone" this year:

  • Cloth diaper usage has been put on "pause". About six weeks ago, the laundry was mounting up, the holidays were approaching, and we began having more gatherings in our home... so we've been using disposables for a while.
  • We still haven't decorated for Christmas. We might do some small things, but I'm not going to do much this year.
  • Our master bedroom is a mess. I had this on my list of things to tackle this autumn, but I just haven't gotten around to it. A random assortment of duffle bags, nursing bras/pads, 0-6 months baby clothes, and a not-yet-switched-to-Winter clothing wardrobe has left it a mess. And we're OK with that. We're both messies anyhow, so for us, that's not a big deal.
And there's probably more I'm not thinking of right now. But, my point is this: everyone leaves some things undone. Extend grace to yourself and don't feel bad if you don't have it all together... cause no one else does either.


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